Feature Client Journal - Crystal Deitch

Get Your Glow Challenge:  Thoughts after Week 1

“When I let go of who I am I become what I might be” – Lao Tzu (Affirmation from program)

I am letting go of my need to be perfect in all things. I am letting go of the negative self-talk that floods my mind when something doesn’t turn out just right. I am letting go of thinking too hard about things and taking life in its entirety too seriously. I am letting go of allowing fear to make my life decisions for me. I am letting go of doubt and I am letting go of not listening to my beautiful heart and wise intuition.

When I hold on to all of these negative things and let them embody me, I am not allowing my true authentic self to surface. I am suppressing her. If I were able to “let go of who I am”, I think I could blossom and “become what I might be”. I have always felt that I have something inside of me that screams to get out at times. Something that is more than I currently am, something that is brilliant. This may seem arrogant to some but to me I feel like I have been holding apart of myself back. A part that wants to shine, and I think it’s because of fear and doubt.

I have found some real passions, passions that make me feel alive and like I have purpose. But I don’t know what to do with them. I do know, however, that if I practice letting go of the above, I will end up exactly where I’m meant to be.

When something doesn’t turn out the way I expected it to, and when negative self-talk isn’t present, I like trying to find the lesson in it by asking the Universe “what would you have me learn from this?” I took the questionnaire in week one VERY seriously. I wanted to get my answers just right and not leave any self-discoveries unturned. I over thought them and put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself to do great. I emailed Kristin a question for her to address in the conference call to help clarify how I should answer one of the questions in the assignment. If you are apart of the program right now and listened in, I completely stumped her. My question didn’t even make sense! I was sitting in bed listening while taking notes and all of a sudden I wanted to hide under my blankets. People were actually listening to this?! Listening to Kristin try to answer my jumbled, over analyzed question?! I obviously took this assignment way too seriously and was trying to think too deeply about it. She simplified it for me in a way that was generally stated and not directed at me but basically said that if any part of this program is causing stress I’m not getting the point. It is supposed to flow easily into my life and be done with excitement. A little blunt but I loved it! Thank you Kristin for your honesty, it is exactly what I needed. In an indirect way, I was called out on my ability to make things more difficult than they need to be. Later that night when I answered the rest of the questions I did it with such ease. I create my own confusion by forcing the process when I need to learn to just let it happen. Out of my embarrassment I learned this very valuable lesson.

Over the last while quite a few people have asked me how long I've been a vegan for. The truth is, I’m not actually vegan. I have, however, cut back my animal product consumption in huge amounts over the last few years. As I grow and learn and try new things the way I eat has really transformed. I’ve noticed over time the less meat and animal products I eat the less I want them. I’ve seen a lot of documentaries, photos and articles on how these animals are treated, what they’re injected with, what they’re being fed and how they are prepared and shipped for our consumption. My eyes have been opened to what’s really in the meat and dairy products we buy from these large chain grocery stores. Before I began this challenge I did eat meat occasionally (mostly chicken and fish) but I would buy them from these chain grocery stores. I’ve wanted to transition and only buy local, free range, organic meats for a long time now but have never taken that step. After the challenge I am deciding right now that all we will buy is local, free range, organic meat. Support local! Eat healthy! Before the challenge I would also eat cheese occasionally, and the only time I would have milk is when I ordered a chai or green tea latte and soy or almond milk wasn’t available. Oh, and also from the whipped cream on those stupidly addicting mocha frappuccino’s at Starbucks. And I guess if it was added to something that I would order at a restaurant. I feel like I have a lot of physical reactions when I eat meat & dairy products now like bloating and troubles going to the bathroom. As a result, I have a lot of emotional reactions like feeling unhappy, lethargic, and very self-conscious of the way my body looks because of how it feels. And when you become self-conscious of your body it’s like a chain reaction to other aspects of your life that you are suddenly uncomfortable in. So naturally, I’ve cut back my consumption even more the last while. For this challenge, since I am so close to veganism as it is, I decided to go these 8 weeks completely vegan. This is going to force me to step outside my comfort zone with not only food preparation but it will force me to try new processes I’ve wanted to try in the past but never have like sprouting, making my own elixirs and soaking beans and lentils rather than using canned. Even though I already use a lot of the super foods that Kristin has outlined, I am stoked because I know that I am going to be exposed to so many others that will get me out of the routines I am currently in. I'm using this challenge to not only try new things but to accomplish things I simply don’t make time for. NO MORE EXCUSES! And until my journaling I never realized the ridiculous amount of excuses I use to not do something. I admittingly have not made exercise a priority this week. Yes I could throw a bunch of excuses at you but they’re just excuses. Regardless, I will say that exercise has been a struggle for me my entire life and it’s been extremely difficult for me to get back into it. With all the assignments and food prep the exercise seems so hard to fit in but I know it’s possible! It’s just the fear taking over. This second week I’m going to really push myself past the limits of said comfort zone because I know that when I do, that’s when things will really start to change for me.

Wishing you all the best week ever!

Crystal Deitch

About Me

Kristin Fraser is a speaker and consultant on natural health, including food preparation workshops and nutritional seminars. Offering you insightful information on leading a healthier, happier life.

 

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