Feature Client... Crystal Deitch Week 1

A candid blog, from a Candid girl.... See how Crystal is going through the Get Your Glow Challenge. 

Get Your Glow Challenge Blog Entry - Day 1

I feel as though I’ve lost my way.  Despite everything I’ve learned and accomplished over the last 4 years of my health journey, I somehow lost my way. There are so many lessons and tools that I’ve left behind during the many transitions I’ve gone through over the last couple years. That’s our problem; we let the trials and tribulations of life get in the way of not just our health but of living. We don’t mean to, it just happens. I do know that these setbacks are ok and that a lifestyle change is an ongoing rollercoaster. When you hit one of the lows you just gotta pick yourself back up and remind yourself of how far you’ve come and keep going.

My health journey began when I said to myself that I was done with feeling uncomfortable in my skin, in my clothes and in life. I was the heaviest I had ever been and had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. Some days I would have a complete break down. The weight seemed to sneak up on me over just a couple of years. I barely fit into my wedding dress when the day came and I just kept growing. I proved in the past I couldn’t do the gym thing by myself so when I lived in Red Deer I hired a personal trainer to make me do the things I couldn’t seem to do on my own. Over 9 months of training and meal plans that included portion control and calorie counting I lost 25 lbs and realized how much strength, power and determination I had. But I felt tired and like I needed a change. When I was done with my trainer I took a break from the gym, a break that I haven’t come back from yet. I’ve tried to get back into a gym but whenever I do it only lasts a couple of weeks as I feel lost when I’m there. During my training I never complained about the work but I did talk (a lot) with my trainer. It took my mind off what I was doing and made my sessions enjoyable. Because of this, I never paid enough attention to my routines and as a result I feel lost whenever I’m in a gym now and don’t really know what to do. I’ve gotten into yoga a few times and absolutely love it! It makes me feel grounded & calm, which for me and probably many of you, is necessary with how over stimulated we our in our day-to-day lives. My motivation to stick with anything in general has really been lacking.

After everything I accomplished with the trainer I honestly still didn’t feel healthy. My meal plans went out the window and I started satisfying all the cravings I had. Some days I would get home after work and be so hungry I would overeat at dinner. Even if I was full, I would take a bit more because it was so good! Or when I got home I would grab handfuls of peanut M&M’s while making dinner to satisfy myself. It was 10 seconds of gratification followed by complete regret. But you know what, I would go for another handful every time. And another. I began realizing I had an addiction to food. I always knew better than to take more but something inside me would block out all reasoning and I would go for more without hesitation. Still do sometimes. I’m not going to get too heavy into this just yet but it’s not always our fault. Refined sugar has been said to be 8 times more addictive than heroine.  You know what? I believe it. I had a job in Red Deer and there was a vending machine in the building. There was a point in time where I was buying a chocolate bar everyday for weeks at a time. Some days 2! It is like the walk of shame when you walk away from that vending machine with a chocolate bar or bag of chips in your hand. Sometimes I would slip the bar into my back pocket. Yup, that happened. I was feeling out of control with food. I didn’t want to start a meal plan again, they get boring real fast! I just wanted to feel comfortable with food and like I was making good choices that were also satisfying. If we are not satisfied then we are going to source out those foods that give us immediate gratification. So healthy food that is satisfying was very important to me.

When I moved back to Edmonton I started seeing a holistic nutritional psychologist. She really helped me with my relationship with food & taught me mindful eating. Do I really need this second helping or do I just crave it? Is my body satisfied or am I just going to over eat to the point of feeling stuffed? Do I want this chocolate bar or do I want a raw vegan dessert instead? When I eat this, how does it make me feel? Is it what’s making me feel bloated and gassy? Once I learned these tools, I found myself being mindful of what I was eating and how it made my body feel rather than using my previously learned tools of portion control and calorie counting. You don’t need it when you have that mind body connection. When I made this switch, I started losing weight again. I still wasn’t exercising but I was even told when I started at the gym that what you put in your mouth makes up 80% of your successes. The gym surprisingly is the easy part. I started working on loving myself & my body as it was and I got to a point where we felt I was at a great place to continue on my own. The sad thing is, like the gym, it didn’t take long for me to stop practicing everything I learned and worked so hard at accomplishing. I’ve spent a lot of time, energy & money on becoming the healthiest & best version of myself possible & I somehow always let my lessons learned slip through the cracks.

Fast forward about another 10 months and I sit here in my bed on this beautiful Sunday morning excited and ready to start this 8 week Get Your Glow Challenge with Kristin Fraser of Inner Glow Nutrition. Why? Because I don’t work out (still), I’m unmotivated and lazy, I’m over eating and addicted to food and sugar again, my digestive system is completely out of whack, and most of all, despite everything I’ve learned about food and how much I love being in the kitchen getting my hands dirty making delicious, healthy foods, whenever I go to the grocery store I feel lost. I feel lost with food. I have a habit of finding something I really like and I make it all the time. It becomes routine because it’s comfortable and what I know. I do realize that I require a large variety of foods in my daily diet so that I’m getting all the proper nutrients. I’ve made some incredible recipes that I’ve received from going to some of Kristin’s workshops and from some awesome cook books I have at home. I get so much gratification when I’ve made something healthy and ridiculously delicious! I inspire myself in those moments. But when I’m standing in the middle of a grocery store or my kitchen some days and I’m forced to think outside the box…my mind blanks. Something I literally just realized is that my skills become lost when I am forced to think for myself. When I’m not following someone else’s orders or someone else’s guidelines or recipe, almost as if I don’t believe in myself. I’m hoping that this program gives me the tools and confidence to succeed with food on my own. And maybe, just maybe this confidence and these successes will help me in other aspects of my life.

So during these 8 weeks I will be sharing my journey through this program, through my thoughts, through food and hopefully through my rediscoveries. I am determined to get my glow back!

Crystal Deitch 

About Me

Kristin Fraser is a speaker and consultant on natural health, including food preparation workshops and nutritional seminars. Offering you insightful information on leading a healthier, happier life.

 

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